i'm scared. . .
i hate to admit it but i am
i'm shaking in my boots
my heart's beating so fast i can hardly breathe

uncertain?
no, not at all
i've never been more sure
i want you, i need this, this is not what i'm afraid of

what terrifies me
is that i might not be what you need
what keeps me up at night
is that i might not be all you want me to be

i might fall short
i might break you
i might not be enough
i might cause you more pain

all i ever wanted was to be everything for you
now i am so afraid that ultimately i might just ruin you

But if your heart is cold, my sheets are warm.
I will shelter you through the storm.
I will shelter you all through the storm. . .


honey could you come here a moment
let me dry your eyes, let me hold you close
let me try to clear your head
of the ghosts that have constantly haunted you

could you lean on me a bit
just rest your head on my shoulder for some time
close your eyes, try to rest
i'll watch over you tonight

can i hold your hand in mine a while?
plant a kiss on your forehead, just one
whisper softly in your ear
they're gone now dear, i've chased them far away, atleast for today

i know, this is like trying to put band aid
to a wound that was ripped open bleeding, aching
i know this is just a pit stop
to the treacherous journey ahead, i know that

but atleast for a few precious hours you are safe
we'll think about tomorrow some other time, for now just lie down, i'll look after you

i never promised you a ray of light
i never promised there'd be sunshine everyday. . .


i cannot promise to never hurt you. . .
i just might
this ride's not going to be a smooth one
please hold tight

i wanna promise you forever
but i can't
i don't even think for a moment
that's what you would want

you'd want the truth
i bet
no matter how hard it is i'm sure
that's what you wanna get

so i won't give you the usual lines
i'll tell you instead that. . .

i'm not a saint, i sin like everyone else
i'm not perfect, i'm not ideal
i get scared too, i break down too
i might lie, i might make you cry

i can't assure you of anything
other than that i'll give you all i've got
the good, the bad, no secrets, no false hopes
all that i am, all i could give

i want you to come into this with both eyes wide open
so this is me, with all my cards on the table. . .
your move

you turn me on, you turn me around, you turn my whole world upsidedown. . .

you never cease to amaze me. . .
just when i thought i figured you out, you blindside me
you keep me on my toes

you never fail to surprise me. . .
i thought you're this, turns out you're that
it's confusing, yeah, but hey, i'm not complaining

you keep me in suspense. . .
what will she do next, what will she say next
will she finally admit she likes me too?
(don't worry honey, i know you do)

i won't grow tired, i won't get bored
you got me awed, you got me floored
just a taste, and all i can think of is more

so let go, jump in
oh well, whatcha waiting for
it's alright
'cause there's beauty in the breakdown

sleep eludes me
i don't know why
maybe because my mind keeps straying to you
maybe because my arms keep straining to reach you?

i sit in silence
searching for words that might get through to you
hoping some way i might be able to push some of the barriers aside
break down some of your walls, find the chink in the armour you wear so proudly

i know you see me
i know you feel me pushing myself to the limit
struggling to get a hold of you
hoping this time you won't turn away, you won't push me away

sometimes i get to the point where i wanna just give up
but then i see you very discreetly egging me on
a little glimpse of what you so preciously keep inside you
a small fissure, a slight opening. . .

knowing that in some small way i'm starting to wear you down. . .
so worth all of it. . .

sometimes i wonder if i have a sign taped at my back that says. . .
"break my heart"


have you ever had your heart broken?
ripped into pieces, so fine that you can no longer recognize the parts?
shreds scattered everywhere
you wanna pick them up but you are so tired, so very tired. . .

sitting in front of the screen
fighting back tears that are threatening to burst
holding back the curses forming in your head
putting a rein on the scream that is building up in your chest

you wanna be angry
at her, at him, at yourself, at anyone
you wanna just freak out, unleash your rage
but you are just too defeated

too spent, too weary
drained of all the energy you had within you
so you just sit in a little corner and hope
that in a little while this too shall pass

. . . i guess this is what you get for stumbling into something you never should've known about. . .

I love you more than I should
So much more than is good for me
More than is good
Oh the timing is cruel
Oh I need and don't want to need
More than I should

someone told me that this was too good to be true
in typical reg fashion i never listened, never believed for a moment that this can't be true
how can it not be real?

when every fibre of my being screams you?
when every single thought i have is of you?
when all i can ever want is to be next to you?
and every breath, every move, every dream springs from you?

for once my head and my heart is not in conflict
at last i have this clarity within me that i have long awaited for
no turmoil, no muddled thoughts, no contradictions
i am one with myself, or so i thought

i have wished for this for as long as i can remember
have wanted this more than anything else
but now i see that wishing for something doesn't necessarily mean you'll get it
and no amount of wanting would assure me that you'll want me back. . .

so here i am, waiting for the other shoe to drop. . .
it will, soon enough, i know it
but for the time being i'll savour what i can
grab as much as i could, before you go and take it all away again