i never promised you a ray of light
i never promised there'd be sunshine everyday. . .


i cannot promise to never hurt you. . .
i just might
this ride's not going to be a smooth one
please hold tight

i wanna promise you forever
but i can't
i don't even think for a moment
that's what you would want

you'd want the truth
i bet
no matter how hard it is i'm sure
that's what you wanna get

so i won't give you the usual lines
i'll tell you instead that. . .

i'm not a saint, i sin like everyone else
i'm not perfect, i'm not ideal
i get scared too, i break down too
i might lie, i might make you cry

i can't assure you of anything
other than that i'll give you all i've got
the good, the bad, no secrets, no false hopes
all that i am, all i could give

i want you to come into this with both eyes wide open
so this is me, with all my cards on the table. . .
your move

you turn me on, you turn me around, you turn my whole world upsidedown. . .

you never cease to amaze me. . .
just when i thought i figured you out, you blindside me
you keep me on my toes

you never fail to surprise me. . .
i thought you're this, turns out you're that
it's confusing, yeah, but hey, i'm not complaining

you keep me in suspense. . .
what will she do next, what will she say next
will she finally admit she likes me too?
(don't worry honey, i know you do)

i won't grow tired, i won't get bored
you got me awed, you got me floored
just a taste, and all i can think of is more

so let go, jump in
oh well, whatcha waiting for
it's alright
'cause there's beauty in the breakdown

sleep eludes me
i don't know why
maybe because my mind keeps straying to you
maybe because my arms keep straining to reach you?

i sit in silence
searching for words that might get through to you
hoping some way i might be able to push some of the barriers aside
break down some of your walls, find the chink in the armour you wear so proudly

i know you see me
i know you feel me pushing myself to the limit
struggling to get a hold of you
hoping this time you won't turn away, you won't push me away

sometimes i get to the point where i wanna just give up
but then i see you very discreetly egging me on
a little glimpse of what you so preciously keep inside you
a small fissure, a slight opening. . .

knowing that in some small way i'm starting to wear you down. . .
so worth all of it. . .

sometimes i wonder if i have a sign taped at my back that says. . .
"break my heart"


have you ever had your heart broken?
ripped into pieces, so fine that you can no longer recognize the parts?
shreds scattered everywhere
you wanna pick them up but you are so tired, so very tired. . .

sitting in front of the screen
fighting back tears that are threatening to burst
holding back the curses forming in your head
putting a rein on the scream that is building up in your chest

you wanna be angry
at her, at him, at yourself, at anyone
you wanna just freak out, unleash your rage
but you are just too defeated

too spent, too weary
drained of all the energy you had within you
so you just sit in a little corner and hope
that in a little while this too shall pass

. . . i guess this is what you get for stumbling into something you never should've known about. . .

I love you more than I should
So much more than is good for me
More than is good
Oh the timing is cruel
Oh I need and don't want to need
More than I should

someone told me that this was too good to be true
in typical reg fashion i never listened, never believed for a moment that this can't be true
how can it not be real?

when every fibre of my being screams you?
when every single thought i have is of you?
when all i can ever want is to be next to you?
and every breath, every move, every dream springs from you?

for once my head and my heart is not in conflict
at last i have this clarity within me that i have long awaited for
no turmoil, no muddled thoughts, no contradictions
i am one with myself, or so i thought

i have wished for this for as long as i can remember
have wanted this more than anything else
but now i see that wishing for something doesn't necessarily mean you'll get it
and no amount of wanting would assure me that you'll want me back. . .

so here i am, waiting for the other shoe to drop. . .
it will, soon enough, i know it
but for the time being i'll savour what i can
grab as much as i could, before you go and take it all away again

. . .cause it's not hard to fall
and i don't wanna scare her
it's not hard to fall
and i don't wanna lose. . .


i wanna be the one to wipe your tears
the only one who could calm your fears
the one who would be your everything
the person who would stop at nothing

just to see you smile
make you be happy for a little while
the one you would always run to
i really do, i really want to

hold your hand
wave a magic wand
to make everything perfect for you
oh if you only knew

how much i try to do all that
to give you everything, all that i've got
my heart, my soul, i know it's not a lot
but maybe, just maybe, this time i'd be enough

Every now and then, everybody's entitled to too much perfection


Somethin' in your eyes, makes me wanna lose myself
Makes me wanna lose myself, in your arms
There's somethin' in your voice, makes my heart beat fast
Hope this feeling lasts, the rest of my life

If you knew how lonely my life has been
And how long I've been so alone
And if you knew how I wanted someone to come along
And change my life the way you've done

It feels like home to me, it feels like home to me
It feels like I'm all the way back where I come from
It feels like home to me, it feels like home to me
It feels like I'm all the way back where I belong

A window breaks, down a long, dark street
And a siren wails in the night
But I'm alright, 'cause I have you here with me
And I can almost see, through the dark there is light

Well, if you knew how much this moment means to me
And how long I've waited for your touch
And if you knew how happy you are making me
I never thought that I'd love anyone so much

It feels like home to me, it feels like home to me
It feels like I'm all the way the back where I come from
It feels like home to me, it feels like home to me
It feels like I'm all the way back where I belong
It feels like I'm all the way back where I belong

if i could take you away. . .

away from all the misery
away from all that bothers me
away from everyone saying no
away from all the pain, if we could just go

somewhere we could just start over
forget the past and work on forever
somewhere no one knows us
i can just be me, you can just be you, we can just be us

if i could take away all your fears
calm your sorrows wipe away your tears
hold you in my arms whisper softly
smoothen your worry lines gently, oh if i could only. . .

please, please will you let me?

You say what if we're not meant to be. . . so what? Make a mistake with me. . .



Will you be my favorite regret,
Could I be your sweetest mistake?
Trade one step back for two ahead
Just a little time that's all
Don't be afraid to fall
This catch I won't forget,
My favorite regret.

Won't you let me chip away the stone
Are you really better off alone?
Won't you let your guard down one more time
Just like I've done mine
We'll look until we find something neither will forget
My favorite regret

My favorite regret

Will you be my favorite regret?
Cut the strings attached but save the thread
And I know your feelings are probably right
But just this once tonight
As you lay in your bed
Place a little on this bet
My favorite regret

"i am the dreamer. . .
and she's just the dream"



it's not gonna happen. . .
not today, not tomorrow, not in this lifetime
and even if i live a hundred other lifetimes
it still probably wouldn't work

we are too different. . .
like night and day,
good and bad,
hello and goodbye. . .

you are a breath of fresh air
a cool drink on a scorching afternoon
the rainbow after a devastating storm
the lone star on the bleakest of nights

i am tarnished air
i am the scorching sun
i am the devastating storm
i am the bleakest night

so you see,
it really is madness to even think
that i would ever be right for you
that i could ever be what you really need
that i would ever be good enough
i know i'm not. . .
although i truly wanted me to be. . .

If you want the rainbow, you've got to put up with a lot of rain



is it safe to say that i've moved on?
picked up the pieces and put together whatever was left. . .
of my pride, my heart, my life. . .

you rarely cross my mind now. and when you do it doesn't make me cringe anymore, doesn't make me think of explicit curses to throw at you, or things i would do to torture you as you have me. . .
i can even smile now. . .
not the sweet kind that i used to reserve just for you, neither the bitter kind i used to flash whenever someone asked why you left but the kind that mixes sadness, acceptance, hope. . .
hope that something or someone better would come along, has to come along. . .

"love means never having to say you're sorry. . ."



This is the most famous line in the novel "Love Story" by Erich Segal. Spoken by the main character Jenny after her husband Oliver found her outside on their porch steps shivering from being in the cold for a few hours atleast. They had an argument, you see, and Jenny stormed out. Oliver went after her and searched everywhere to find her. He did, right in front of their home, and when he tried to apologize she said, "love means never having to say you're sorry".

Did she mean that when two people are in love they shouldn't have to apologize or make amends? That one would have to accept every heartache, every pain inflicted and not wait for even a word or a gesture of apology ? That because you are in love you let every mistake just slide and be shoved under the rug? No mention of sorry's and I forgive you's?

Could we really live like that? Free to say whatever we want, do whatever we want whenever we please without worrying if we offended or hurt the person we love?

I disagree, strongly I might add.

Although, according to some people, sorry might be the most worthless word in the english dictionary, I still believe that this five letter word is as powerful as the four letter word we so revere, love.

It is after the fact, I know. You've already hurt someone, you've already messed up, there is nothing left to do that would change what you already did, so what does apologizing do, really?

It makes the pain a little bearable. Knowing that it wasn't intentional, that it was never planned eases the ache just a little bit. In the grand scheme of things it may not really change what happened but in that instant at least the person you wronged would be able to see how much you were hurting too. That if there was a way to change everything you would've done just about anything. It's not enough, sure, but at least you are trying as much as you could.

So what did Jenny mean then?

I think what she meant was that love means never ever regretting anything you did because of it. Never regret the sacrifices you had to make. Never regret the pain you had to endure since it led you to the happiness that love brings. Never regret the struggles for it made you stronger. Never regret the tears, it made you appreciate laughter. Anything you do that was driven by pure love should be celebrated not regretted.

And if it ultimately ends for you, if it failed to work out, regret only that it ended and not that it even started. Not all love stories are written in stars, some end in disaster but when you were in love in the beginning, in the middle and right before its demise you were happy. It might not have ended as you planned but atleast now you are more equipped to face love again.

Regret is a strong word. For me it means that you want to forget what happened. Erase it from your memory, like what the couple in the movie "Eternal sunshine of the spotless mind" tried to do. Cover the pain, forget the sadness, not relieve the bad things. In doing so you are ultimately ruining your experience. You cannot remember happiness if you've never had loneliness, Joy would not be as sweet if not for pain and triumph would not be well celebrated if not for the heartaches.

So when you love, when you truly love, savor each moment, the good and yes, the bad, for without either one the experience is not complete. Never ever be sorry for what you've done, what you are doing and what you will be doing for the person you love. . . that's what really matters in the end, that you gave it your all and you lived without a single regret.