love,

told you birthdays are the loneliest times of the year. . .

and i knew you tried
to be happy,
to have fun,
to forget what it is
that makes you bleed,
keeps you up at night sometimes,
for a few hours you made a huge effort
to conceal that it was killing you too. . .

i felt the tears,
even before i saw them
running down your soft cheeks,
i heard them coming,
the crack in your voice, the stilted breathing,
the heavy sighs. . .

it's your first. . .

for five straight years all holidays were spent with her,
and i know that at the back of your mind
you would always wish she were here too,
she was your life, your best friend, your partner in crime
i would never replace her
i have said so countless of times
she would always stay hidden
tucked away in a very special place,
it's okay, i understand

i just wish
that you never hope
she were here instead of me. . .

it's alright love,
we'll make new memories
no worries
i love you to pieces. . .

happy birthday.

Its joy, its ecstasy, its truth its destiny
And even love is not enough
To tell you how you make me feel
Theres only one word for this, it's. . .


bliss. . .

and i was
so sure i
would never
find it again

was always
certain i would
forever have
it dangled in front
of me like
a bait, a lure
of some sort
one that when
i bravely sink
my teeth into
either disappears
or worse,
takes me for a ride
and then
drops me, all
bloodied, gasping
for air,

tricked again
into believing
that it's
the real thing
i crave it too
much that a tiny
glimpse, a promise
however fleeting
makes me jump
in, head first

i almost drowned the last time. . .

you are my
unexpected ray
of sunshine
(believe me, you are)
i could run
again, free
freefall because
i know you'd
catch me,
hold me in
your arms as
tightly as you can,
let no one
harm me

you make me
happy
sorry if i
sometimes fail
to tell you
that you do

please swear
you won't stop, love
come fly away with me. . .

All you want
Is right here in this room
All you want
And all you need
Is sitting here with you. . .


sometimes life,
and all its
craziness overwhelms you,
it swallows you,
pulls you down
till all you
see is oblivion
free falling
into a box
with no windows,
no way out. . .

your heart pounds
you start to
panic, the worries
are not just
creeping now,
they're running
after you, way
faster than you
steady, steady
don't fall down
they will bury you
once they catch up. . .

fear is threatening
to overpower you
yet again,
you're losing your
grip, it used to
be so firm,
you're slipping,
drowning. . .

breathe. . .

when everything
is moving
all too fast
and all you
can think of
is bolting,
or staying in
place, dwelling,
i keep asking
you to just
breathe. . .

and think of me

i hope i will make
you as strong as
you are making me,
everytime i see you
there's no more room
for doubts, or fears,
the worries fall away
i am invincible. . .

do my trick, just think of me
and remember that i am
always, always on your side