like i said before, i envy her.
i will always do.
all that i missed, all i'm still missing.
she will always be there, i know that for a fact.
i have prepared for that, i have conditioned myself
for the fight that was ahead, i just hoped it would not be a never ending one.

well it just might be. . .

i hate battles.
strong as i may seem, inside i'm really weak.
i cringe at the drop of a hat.
you even likened me to a baby,
all soft and sensitive, maybe i am.

i can't compete with a memory.
i have been trying for the past 4 months,
sadly, it had been futile
i pick myself up, breathe deeply, suck it in
as hard as it may be, losing you is not an option.
i soldier on.
i look at you and nothing else matters. . .

you try all you can too
i see how much effort you put into it
you hold it all in
and try not to let me know
how she still haunts you
but i can tell
the slightest movement, the deep sighs,
the far away looks
the shift in moods. . .

you say she's everywhere.
well if she is, then where am i?
she was your everything,
i only want to be a little piece of you
a tiny bit, is it too much to ask?

i am not belittling all you've done,
i am belittling what i have
after all's said and done
i'm still here
waiting in the wings
wondering when my time will finally be up

she ends where i start,
she hasn't ended, how will i start?
when can i start?

like you, i am hoping it will be soon too.
soon.