love is not for the meek
you have to fight, to bleed
to compromise, to ask for what you need
love is not for the weak

it is for the brave. . .
for the warrior who got trampled
over and over and yet never
surrendered in defeat

it is for the fearless. . .
who got burned over and over
yet never gave in
who fought, who struggled
who wears each scar so proudly
a badge of courage, of honor

it is for the patient. . .
who waited for her turn
who never lost hope

for the defiant. . .
who does not know any
other way to love than fiercely,
ferociously, passionately
the ones who never held back
who knows how ruthless love can be
yet still soldiered on
unmoved, unafraid

it is not who we love that defines us
rather, it is how we love. . .

and though we try our very best
to let the past
lie where it should. . .
remembering would still come
in waves, in hoards, when you least expect them

a multitude of years' worth of 
memories, tears, pain, laughter, hope, despair
and a collection of other emotions in between
would be impossible to hide
in the far corners of your mind
no matter how hard you push and pull and sit on the lid
a few still manage to escape
from time to time

like a long lost friend
they can comfort you
like a warm blanket in the cold
they can embrace you in their warmth
or like a nemesis you cower from
they can haunt you, make you tremble in fear

the past, how ever poignant,
how ever bitter, how ever sweet,
no matter what it is to us,
we can never out run. . .
the sooner we accept that,
the sooner we heal. . .

we can never forget. . .

we should never forget. . .

if we do we never learn

I have had my share of losses
My share of heartbreaks, hence this blog
A place i can put into writing
All that i'm feeling
An attempt to bury all my emotions
To let it all go
Empty my heart, my head and my soul
An avenue where i could make sense
To all the madness
To all that ails and troubles me
My forever ally
A friend i always go back to
When all life's pain prove to be too much
Too sudden
Where i can throw away all that's been bothering me
My personal wall where i can rant
I can shout, i can pour myself out
And no one will judge me

My writing has always been my shield
A cozy hole i can crawl in
Who would comfort me and make me whole again








It is failing its job now

I don't think anyone or anything
Can console me now
I am in too deep nothing can lift me out now
Depression is eating me up and it is uncontrollable now
I do not want to take a minute to regroup
I wanna curl up and just die now
Stay hidden, as still as i can be
I have lost all the energy
There is nothing left to fight for
Not a thing left to salvage
No pride, no hope, no joy, not even a dull light

I am just so tired
So bloodied, so spent
I gave all i could
My heart my soul my body my head
All of me and then some
I put everything on the fucking line
And i came out empty

So god damned barren

Thank you for making me feel
So small and insignificant
For wringing all the joy
And bathing me in bitterness
If that was your intention
I congratulate you. . .
A job well done