remember all the things we wanted, now all our memories they're haunted
we were always meant to say goodbye. . .

one of my least favorite topics is all about the ones who either broke my heart or those who might've left me bleeding. the thought of meeting with these people makes me sweat buckets. yeah, it is all in the past. and yes i am a different person now. better than when we were together, i think (not sure pa? hahahaha). so what am i afraid of?

am i terrified that when i bump into them all the old feelings would come rushing back? maybe. it is hard to push all the old emotions away and tuck them all neatly in a safe place where nothing can touch them. they will always be a part of me and yes, i may be afraid of opening old wounds. is my fear all about what i might blurt out should i run into one of them? perhaps. i might rehash old arguments and say something hurtful, but what scares me more is that i might say i missed them, or i still love them. that is plain stupid, i know, but i have tendencies. did i not inform you that i am certifiable (hahahahaha)?

i can't run away from them forever. i will probably see one of them atleast. so how do i deal?

there's this scene from a movie i just saw last friday. the exes saw each other for the first time after a long time. there was awkwardness, the usual stuff, empty hi's and how are you's. what i loved the most was what the girl said; 'i prepared my speech, i have replayed it on my mind over and over, what i would say, how i would act, in the end i just felt nothing. no sadness, no joy, no bitterness. just nothing. that's how i knew i have moved on' (of course it was said in filipino, i just got a bit creative with the lines hahahaha)

my point?

you can never tell exactly when you are ready to face your one time love turned nemesis. you can fake it, you can convince yourself that she does not affect you anymore, but in the end you would only know once you have her smack in front of you. if you meet her too soon, try not to say anything you might regret.

timing is everything. time heals all wounds. all you need is time. and yeah, time is gold, so don't waste too much of it sulking. have fun. get a hobby. you will be surprised to realize that one very unassuming day, while walking in the mall, the park or wherever it is you normally walk, you'll come face to face with her and just shrug it off (angas na, moved on na eh hahahahaha).