i can't even
look at you now
when i do i break
into a million
tiny little pieces
of insecurity,
of doubt, self loathing
guilt, i question my worth
i am not confident
in the first place,
i sink deeper in
your looming presence
you are too good
for me
i am a nobody
as ordinary as
anyone else
it's like reaching
for the moon
in the light of day
beyond impossible

and i know that
it's not done on purpose
it's just you,
you are so overwhelming
a delicate rose
would seem imperfect,
the sunset
loses its colors
the sea
loses its splendor
every masterpiece
becomes mere doodlings
a ballad, mere ramblings
when compared to you

and it's not your fault
you are totally unaware
how you have made
me feel so little
so incompetent
a mortal full of flaws
unworthy
every small smile
every slight glance
given my way
are like droplets
of cold water,
or morsels of
a scrumptious meal
to a famished, scorched being

and i know that
i should stay
as far away as
my feet could carry me
so that i won't be
swallowed by your
dazzling brilliance. . .

that i may try and begin
to shine my dull light