be careful what you wish for. . .
'cause you just might get it

when was a kid, i mostly wished for stupid stuff. i wish my mom would bring home chocolates. my dad would suddenly feel the urge to get me toys. my asthmatic sister would finally be able to tolerate dogs. my kid sister would stop bugging me. aunts and uncles would stop pinching me (i know i was a cute kid but hey, it stings hahahaha). i could see santa claus or atleast a raindeer but it has to be rudolph. every birthday, i close my eyes and silently utter my wish for that moment. usually they come true (my mom bought most of them). but i didn't know that then and so i had always been a firm believer of its powers

growing up, the wishes had been less and less. when i started school i mostly just wanted high grades. just enough friends, i did not want to be in the popular,circle, i was fine in the "normal" group. not too many assignments. and yeah the occasional wish for storms, so that class could be suspended (hehehehe). sometimes they come true, more often than not they didn't but i still believed that someone was probably listening to me and was trying to give me atleast part of what i asked for.

now i rarely even bother to wish.

did i turn cynic over the years?

nah. i think i just grew up. and learned that it is better to stop wishing and just work to get what i wanted. to not put my dreams in fate's hands and just do it my way. there are things that even i do not have a say in but for those that i can control, i do not need to wish. for fear of hoping and having it crushed.

if i fail on my own i only have me to blame. i stopped trusting luck, or destiny and all that crap. i do everything i can, put in all the effort i could manage and if i still don't get what i wanted it's probably not for me. i do not wanna wish anymore. i cannot start wishing again. . .

i wish i can, not wish for you.

i am slowly starting to. . .