you know how much
i hate leaving
how much i detest
bidding farewell
how much i avoid
having to say goodbye
if i had one fear
that keeps me awake
all night
it is the thought
of walking away,
trying to forget,
accepting that i am
indeed forgotten

i said i would
try and move on
i promised i'd never
look back
i'll just trudge forward
make you a part
of my past
never allow myself
to indulge in your memory
it would be better that way
it would be easier, you say
and i tried,
oh how i tried

i apologize
that sometimes my thoughts
still stray to you
that on some days
i still find myself
waiting for you by my doorstep
that on occasion i stay very silent
trying to listen to your voice,
hoping that the wind
might in some way carry it to me
i am terribly sorry
that i sometimes close my eyes
and imagine your smile
i still go over the conversations
we had and remember how
i used to laugh
how i used to make you
mad on purpose
how i loved arguing,
then making up

everything's different now
and i swore i'll never go back
but some days i can't help but wish
i never let you go
that i'm still allowed
to hold on to you
that i never said goodbye. . .