should i give up, or should i just keep chasing pavements
even if it leads nowhere?


when do you know it's time to call it quits?

is it something you see?

every tiny change, the shrug you cannot interpret. the way she squirms when you ask her why she came home late. is it when you notice that she cannot look you in the eye anymore? could it be when you rarely see her anymore,work, family, friends are all taking much of her time? or do you wait till you never see her at all?

is it something you hear?

her heartbeat is no longer as fast as it was whenever she sees you. the sound of irritation when you ask too many questions. is it the angry words, the deafening voices sputtering curses or is it when all there is left is silence? when you rarely hear her say i love you, i miss you, i am so sorry or do you wait till there are no more words?

is it something you can smell?

an unfamiliar scent when you wrap your arms around her. her fear. the rank odor of betrayal. your fear.

can you taste it?

the bitterness in her lies. her kiss, a flavor you'v e never used. her frustration. the tears freely runing down your cheeks, their saltiness. your frustration.

or do you just feel it?

the coldness of her lips. the embers of passion losing its fire. each missed caress. the absence of her warmth when she lies next to you. do you have to wait till you get numb?

so when do you say it's over then?

my rule? when the pain outweighs the fun. when i cry more than she makes me smile. when i have grown up and she hasn't. when i question why i still stay. when i have forgotten how to care.
when all i can think about is walking away, cutting the ties that bind us.

just before i begin to hate her. . .