another dead end,
another no in the offing
i am bracing myself
for yet another disappointment,
another heartbreak
i am about to take
another plunge, not into the unknown,
i know exactly how it will end
a leap to nothingness,
i know there won't be
any arms outstretched
to receive me,
no warm body that
might cushion my fall,
no reassuring voice
urging me to continue
moving towards her
no light at the end
of the proverbial tunnel
just, a blank wall
a huge impenetrable barrier
blocking me from ever
reaching you

then why jump in?

it's not like i can stop,
it's not like i have control
i am resigned to the fact
that it is indeed inevitable
all i can do is prepare
for the downfall,
my downfall. . .

and hope i'll still survive,
not unscathed, probably broken
but my resilience is phenomenal. . .
i'll see you at the edge, love
wait for me